Thursday, February 17, 2011

Year of The Parrot.

Its Chinese Valentine's Day. Anyone throwing oranges into the sea with their phone number on it?

Its been almost 5 years since I started to call my sister "Kakak". "Kakak" means elder sister in Malay (totally overrated language in school but very useful when you want to bitch about someone in a foreign country) and in Malaysia, "kakak" is also what you call your maid. Which is why I've been calling her "kakak" since then, not like she does any maid duties for me anyway.

Then one day, "kakak" suddenly seemed boring so I switched it to "Burung Kakak Tua" which means parrot. And ever since that day, I've been so keen on getting her a parrot on whatever occasion.

Of course, she isn't fond of the idea of owning a parrot at all. One short conversation and suddenly we're being compared to hedgehogs.

But they are pretty damn awesome creatures.

Dream Often.

Do you like sappy quotes and pictures? This is a good tumblr site for it.

So apparently they had some operation on nabbing unmarried Muslim couples in budget hotels on Valentine's Day. We (Malaysia) even made it to BBC news. Joy. I'm sure they feel pretty "victorious" about it with the whole "I told you so" attitude that Valentine's Day is indeed bad for society and against social norms.

But then again, maybe they should visit those budget hotels more often and see that its actually happening every other day.

Told you Valentine's Day is all about chocolates and flowers to me. I got a sunflower :D

Apparently I got a sunflower because its yellow (I like yellow if you haven't figured) when I thought that it actually meant I was the "sunshine" of someone's life. Then it hit me and I remembered that I actually do like sunflowers because its yellow. How unromantic. Haha.

I think there is a story behind the whole sunflower thing though. I just can't remember which version is the original.

This should be my bible.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

What's All The Hype About?

Did you read that article in The Star recently about Sedition Act 1948? The word freedom in "freedom of speech" should be redefined.

Its the time of the year again where love is overflowing because its human nature to make a big deal out of something for one day and then totally forget about it the next - Valentine's Day. The day where everything is overpriced and overrated. But in Malaysia, we bring Valentine's Day to a whole new level. We still do have the overpriced and overrated, we also have politicians bickering over the one day in the whole entire year that actually promotes love.

Can you believe that some politicians are actually saying that Valentine's Day is a trap for sinful doings? Do they honestly think that people only have sex on Valentine's Day? Once in a while you weird minded politicians want to hear what the younger generation has to say about current issues right?

So here's my newsflash to you. I'm 20 years old this year, I technically just left high school a few years ago, for everyday in the whole year, my classmates would be watching porn behind the classroom and we fill condoms with water during Biology for the fun of it. Honestly, because of your lack of sex education implemented in school, that was my sex education in school. No, I didn't turn out to be a rapist and I've never gotten pregnant and dumped a baby by the side of the road before. Valentine's Day was the one day my classmates stopped watching porn and gave each other presents as a sign of gratitude, not only affection. So for the love of God, please stop saying that Valentine's Day is the day where people fuck and do sinful acts. Ask me how many virgin friends I have. I've been having difficulties pointing them out too. Its happening every 14th of every month of every year. Not just February 14th.

Look at this stupid fool. Almost a year ago he said that national celebrations such as New Year and Valentine's Day is among the main causes for baby dumping. Which rock is he living under? Before all this hype created mostly by him (picture above) came about, Valentine's Day was all about overpriced chocolates and flowers and New Year's was about fireworks.

Ask any kid who isn't exposed to their outrageous remarks about Valentine's Day. The last thing on their mind would be sex because its probably already too nerve-wrecking to confess their feelings to their crush, taking off their pants wouldn't be first choice.

You know your country is too damn serious when they start getting serious about love.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Cover your stump before you hump! And to all the Malaysian Muslims out there, with all due respect, happy Valentine's Day to you too. But that's all. Your leaders are freaking out. Don't hump.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Good Old Days

The whole anti Valentine's Day thing by PAS is going on again. Last year, there was this thing going on about girls not wearing underwear on Valentine's Day and it totally freaked them out. Bras off this year, anyone?

WE (Huilyn Ho, Aaron is Stupid (remember him?) and The Whore) WENT ROCK CLIMBING!

We went all the way to Putrajaya Challenge Park to rock climb because its so damn cheap compared to Camp 5. Their entrance fee is only 3 bucks and there's no super pro climbers there to freak the shit out of newbies.

Look, Facebook slippers.

Bouldering (climbing without a rope and falling onto a crash pad) is pretty easy. The rocks are easy to hold on, the only challenge would actually be the part where you have to let go when you reached the top and take a free fall onto the crash pad. It may sound fun but all of us decided to climb half way down and then drop down.

And I wanna go bungee jumping one day. Rock climbing definitely made me doubt whether I have enough balls to jump off a higher place.

Aaron is Stupid - never changed, never will.

By the way, because The Whore (Her name is Sarah) would actually want everyone to know this, see that purple wall behind Aaron and I? She would like you to know that she made it to the top but Aaron couldn't. But in his defence (and mine too) we could climb that slanting bouldering wall and she couldn't (and Huilyn Ho too).

Our friend, Azrina, who came along after that and taught us how to tie the harness and shit like that, was so afraid that we, newbies, would drop her. The only way she felt a little more assured of her safety was the three of us belaying her while she was climbing.

Aaron was the first to puncture, but then he claims its because he went to the gym that morning before he came to rock climb.

Made it to the top, made sure I had a picture while I was on top, totally freaked out half way down because the knot was coming off.

And that was my last wall. Never ever overdo bouldering if you're going to do the hardcore stuff later on.

And this is Huilyn Ho attempting the wall that I made it to the top. And because I would like the whole world to know this, she didn't make it to the top like I did. But in her defence, her muscle started to cramp half way up.

Everyone was very defensive that day. LETS GO AGAIN!

Sunday, February 06, 2011

In For The Kill

I feel so unhealthy from all the beer.

Whoever that thinks that lawyers are the first to go to hell, I beg to differ. Telecommunication companies, the owner, the marketing manager, the whole advertising department, should be the first ones in hell.

Here's the thing. A year ago, I made my parents switch telco companies from Maxis to Digi because Maxis was conning our asses off. We were loyal users to Maxis but then every new promotion and cheaper rates were only offered to the new subscribers, so we thought, screw them lets settle for something else.

We did and then the real hassle came along. Right before i got my parents to switch to Digi, I already had a Digi number, so i knew that the signal and everything else was good in our location. Just as they got their Digi number, the signal in my house is as good as shoving the phone up my ass and making a call from there.

So i called customer service a billion times before someone actually contacted me back to tell me that a building recently came up and it was blocking all signals in my housing area.

Thanks to Twitter, I got to rant all my anger directly to Digi and to show my utmost frustration and dissatisfaction. Yeah, call me rude or whatever, but try having a mobile service that wouldn't let you call out most of the times, and even if you do succeed, half of my sentence won't make it through because the call drops. If you think I'm exaggerating, call me. Recite the alphabets and I bet the call will cut off once you reach H or something.

Look what Digi replied. First, their so called "sites" which should be up within 3 months must have never made it because as far as I know April to November isn't just 3 months apart. Secondly, suggesting that I switch to another provider after my complains? Is that what you call customer service? Who the fuck tells their own customer to leave and support their competitor?

But of course, who the hell am I to them. I'm just one customer and even if I leave, it won't make any difference to them at all. I honestly don't give that much of a damn about the bad signal anymore, I just want to punch whoever that is managing the Digi Twitter account. Seriously, to tell your customers to leave and switch to another service provider? You're definitely some kid who didn't study anything about business and they probably hired you just because you know how to tweet.

So good job, you did manage to divert my attention away from the initial problem because now my problem is obviously you. Arrogant piece of shit.

P/s: Good job on the Sambal Belacan advertisement. Maybe you people should stop providing mobile services and just become an advertising company instead.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

The One Where Pi Almost Got Away

Because it's Chinese New Year, I'll refrain myself from blogging about how stupid Digi is for now.

Candid shot of the family photo.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! First day has been the most mellow for the first time ever. Hardly any house visiting, more beer drinking.

This may seem like a Tiger beer advertisement, but its not.

The Sister and I haven't been having our random photo shoots lately ever since she started working. But today we finally got to it again. Remember my Burung Kakak Tua?

This is my Burung Kakak Tua.

And half way through snapping photos of one another, Pi walked out of the house, crossed the road and went on to his own adventure.

So this is me carrying that fat thing back to the house. (Looks like a Tiger beer advertisement right?) Imagine if we lost Pi on the first day of Chinese New Year.

Not only would my mother take away all my ang pao packets to pay for the lost and found coloured posters, (Not sure why "coloured posters" since Pi is black and white) I'm pretty sure my mother would disown me too.

I'm gonna go grab another beer now to soothe my soul.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011


I've never felt such pain in my life. Every muscle in my body is aching. Damn you, rock climbing. LETS GO AGAIN!

You know why most of the youth in Malaysia (or Asia, possibly) can't wait to grow up? I'm not talking about the 14 year old girls who wears blue eyeshadow or the 14 year old boys who smokes outside the school compound.

I'm talking about our typical Asian society where age is superiority. In fact, age is so superior in our social norms that I'm surprised that the senior citizens in Malaysia gets so little benefits compared to other countries.

Before I get to the bad part, I would like to clarify like I find certain old people quite cute to watch, especially when they are 80 and holding hands with their spouse (also 80, not some 23 year old China gold digger).

I think one of the main reasons why people just can't wait to grow up in an Asian society is because no matter how right you are in something, if you're younger than the other, you're still wrong.

But haven't you (since you're reading this, I assume that you're at least 18 and above and have most probably been through enough situations with the elders to know) come across a situation where that particular elder person is wrong beyond his/her soul and he/she will still ask you to "shut up" because you shouldn't fight back with an older person or how the so-called argument ends up with you being labeled as "no manners" just because you viewed your own opinion to them once in your whole life?

I've dealt with plenty of self obsessed old(er) people who think that they own the world. Their ultimate usage of their age would be to push in crowded areas and when you tell them off whether nicely or sternly, they would tell you how you don't respect old people and that kids nowadays have no manners. Well, where's their manners when they are shoving everyone beside them?

And when you argue with them on a certain topic, its heading to the point where they are obviously proven wrong, what do they do? Raise their voice and claim that we, kids, have no manners. But them raising their voice to show superiority and to protect whats left of their ego is well mannered?

If any of you old uncle and aunties are any sort of what i just described, and you view the younger generation as ill-mannered (Not claiming that we are all saints because there are some really assholic people among us, but I'll get to that another day) maybe you should instill some respect for other people around you then maybe you'll get the respect that you deserve too.

Respect doesn't come with age, you fucking earn it.

(If your parents are like that, feel free to let them read this. But please don't give out my phone number or email address. Haha. No, i'm kidding. Bring it on, bitch.)

Sunday, January 30, 2011



Its been so long since I mentioned anything about Pi that its actually becoming sinful.

Since Pi came into our lives, many things have changed. Like his weight and his eating habits. He no longer only eats roasted chicken breast, my dad somehow became good friends with the bak kut teh owner and the owner has been passing my dad bags of uneaten bak kut teh meat for my dog to consume. Hence, the weight and that snobby little "I own the world" face.

Something like that.

This picture has been taken a while ago. And no, I did not make my dog stand up that way just to take a picture of him like that, just like our own Malaysian couple who tried to make their dog evolve overnight. Pi just stands up like that whenever he wants something. Which is why I told my mother that if that crazy bitch who abused her dog just to make her dog pose in that position sees Pi stand in such a way willingly, I'm pretty sure she'll kidnap him.

Still a fan of sleeping in tight corners and 90 degree corners too.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner and the fireworks hasn't been too friendly to my poor Pi, as you can see he is taking refuge under the table with that solemn face. I don't play with fireworks anymore not because its illegal, because my mother would be very unhappy that I made her princess dog unhappy.

Happy New Year to all of you! Just in case I disappear from the blogging world again.